Why Hikers Are Sexy (a woman’s perspective)

It’s a scientifically proven fact that the sexiest people on the planet are hikers, mountain bikers, climbers and cross-country skiers (yes, cross-country skiers).*

Hikers are sexy because they’ve got the body, the brains and the look that makes members of the opposite sex swoon.  Let’s start with the body.

If you fall in love with a sexy hiker man you need this for your wedding cake.

  • The body.  Hiking builds the core, glutes, quads, hammies and calves.  Ask any woman what parts of the male body are her favorites.  If she’s smart she’ll respond with his abs, butt, legs and “his pretty hazel eyes.”  Without a doubt the best lookin’ bodies are seen on the trails of Wyoming, Colorado and maybe Montana.  Utah is a little bit iffy, except around Moab.
  • The brains.  Sometimes it can take killer brainpower to navigate one’s way to a trailhead using an old school paper map and directions like “turn left at the big tree stump and then right at the gray rock”.  Any guy who can find his way to a hard-to-find trailhead is worth keeping around.  Add a man who can identify the berries in bear scat, yarrow, and badger tracks and you’ve got yourself a keeper.  A real sexy hiker man.
  • The look.  Farmer’s tan’s aren’t sexy on farmers but man are they sexy on hikers.  If any hiker man wants to find future wife material all he needs to do is add a farmer’s tan with a 3-day beard to his patagonia hiking outfit.

Girls don’t want men who spend their Sunday afternoons laying on the couch, watching football in their tighty-whities with nacho cheese stuck to their chins.  No, we want men who can put moleskin on our blisters, filter our water and feed us gorp under the light of the moon.

We want our men to be men, sexy hiker men.

And yes, thanks for asking.  If you’re into pinning I do have a sexy hiker board on pinterest.

****Actually it’s been scientifically proven that only mountain bikers are the sexiest people on the planet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Trailhead Routine

Every book on parenting that I have ever read emphasizes the importance of routines.  We aren’t consistent with bedtime routines, nap routines, mealtime routines and diaper changing routines like we should be.

But there is one routine that we are consistent with.  Our trailhead routine.

By walking through the same steps as we move our bear cub from the comfort of his seat in a climate controlled car to the great outdoors, we are able to mentally and physically prepare our kiddo for the trails.

Here’s how it works:

1). Our baby usually falls asleep in car seat on the way to the trailhead so when we arrive the first thing I do is feed him.  (While I feed him Al fires up our Garmins and unloads our packs from the car.  If I’m alone I’ll unload my gear from the car before feeding the baby)

2). While I nurse our bear cub I lather him down with sunscreen.  He’s usually too focused on eating to even notice thus preventing the tears that normally accompany a sunscreen application.

3). After he eats we change his diaper and make sure he is dressed appropriately for the weather.

4). Then we have a well-fed, dry-diapered, sun-protected little guy who is usually in a good mood as we take on the trails.

Our trailhead routine is really pretty simple but I’m convinced that it has saved us many tears on the trails.

Do you have a trailhead routine for your babies, kids or anyone you hike with who acts like a child?